seriousaura | (no subject)

Current Mood: miserable
Current Location: In bed

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Fuji.

I don't know if Atobe explained the events that occurred between us Friday night, but I owe you an apology. I am deeply sorry. Our intimacy did not escalate into actual sex; we came to our senses before anything seriously disastrous happened. Regardless, I regret what I did and I did not mean for any of it to happen.

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Atobe. I don't feel up to playing you Wednesday.

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Yanagi. Please take whatever effects of Echizen's back to him. I can't bear to look at them any longer.

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I do not lie, Tezuka Kunimitsu. I may dance around the truth, avoid speaking of it altogether, flat out tell you to back off, or simply say nothing at all but I do not lie.

Oh, I see. Then it is your intent to take the easy way out and languish away, so you don't have to face what you've done by... you know, attempting to fix what you've broken?

I don't think you are lying. I'm just shocked that he did not be a man, especially to you.

I am not taking the easy way out. I merely don't have an appetite. I have apologized to Echizen. I cannot force him to stay in a relationship with me after what I've done. I don't deserve it.

Unfortunately, I am not shocked in the least.

Saa, then it was not I who was actually playing games but you. I did not take you for one who found losing acceptable if winning was within your grasp. Or are you just too lazy to work for that goal?

[ooc: he does not understand why he feels he must push at Tezuka :/]

Playing games? I'm sorry to say I don't know what you are talking about. My relationship with Echizen was not a game. It still is not.

Then quit treating it as something so easily tossed aside and left to die. I could see it of Keigo given his personality but you?

This, I will admit, shocks me.

I am not. Should I really tell Echizen to get over it? I'm sorry I can't do that. I will not force Echizen to be in relationship with me after I betrayed his trust.

You are as dense and stupid as the jerk you call your best friend, Tezuka-sama. There is a difference between disappearing without even trying and making the choice to wait patiently for your opportunity to right what you have wronged.

Something you will not and cannot do if you starve yourself to death.

Is it wrong of me to allow some time to pass before talking to him again? The wounds are fresh Fuji and I do not wish to make them any deeper than they already are.

I am not trying to starve myself to death.

No, it is not wrong but you sound as if you are more than willing to lose something you indicated was of import to you, which is why I say you play this as a game more than I.

Yet, the result is the same, is it not? Loss of weight, energy, and a will to do anything but pine behind a locked door.

Do you think I am happy that I am not with him any longer? I am not willing to lose him, but I am not willing to force him to be with me.

I just prefer to be alone right now. I don't see how that is bad.

As much as I admit wrong doing, you should be taking your anger out on Atobe.

Did I ever say you were?

I did not say that is bad, either. However, letting yourself go without properly tending to your body's needs will do nothing but worry those that care about you the most -and- leave you in a weakened condition.

I would prefer not to discuss Keigo, if you please.

No, but your words were vague.

I understand that...

Aa.

Then do something about it, Tezuka-sama. In your current state you must have everyone who is close to you worried, especially your butler. We do tend to take the health of our masters seriously.

As of right now, I just wish to sleep. I don't think that is a bad request.

Have you eaten yet today?

No. Yanagi is bringing watered down miso.

Eat it, and then have a proper breakfast in the morning. If I learn that you did not I will take it upon myself to make sure you do have one.

I trust you do not wish that to occur.

Perhaps you should talk to my butler about that. I am unfazed by either of your statements, Fuji, but I appreciate your concern.

Do not mistake my badgering for concern, Tezuka. I merely think that if others must suffer than you should be healthy enough to suffer right along with them. ♥

My apologies for thinking it was. I should have known better.

Eat or I will be paying you a visit.

And with that said, I'm afraid I must leave this enlightening and oh-so-titillating conversation behind. Work calls.

Have a good evening, Fuji.

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